five or ten for friday

  • Today kicks off my four day birthday weekend. SHUTTUP it is TOO a thing.
  • I have some errands to run and then I head into the city to day drink before heading to Queens to drink and dance until I throw up with my pocket bitches.
  • I wanted to buy a new dress/shirt/anything  for this weekend but I was all grown up and shit and decided that I didn’t need it.
  • That same grown up took money out of the rent to pay for her partying tonight.
  • Whatever…I’m almost 38, I do what I want.
  • I am sunburned on my back but nothing on my legs. I think my ass is so big it’s acting like an umbrella.
  • I am going to go tanning one more time today and hope it takes.  Maybe I should stand on my head.
  • I want IHOP. I won’t eat it because it’s two days worth of calories but fuck I want it so bad.
  • I can never limit myself to five. Whether it be bullets or children. And one night stands.
  • Sometimes when I am alone or the house is quiet I can hear someone breathing. It doesn’t scare me as much as it used to.
  • Day two of SCRUB THE FUCK OUT OF MY COUCH is in effect. It’s not really working. But I have to try because in 14 days I will have the internet staying in my house and my couch needs to not smell like three day old falafel.
  • Did I mention it was my birthday weekend?
  • I don’t officially age another year until Monday morning, but who’s really counting?