Sarkastickunt

Dear Non-custodial Parents:

I understand you think a little thing called genetics gives you certain rights and privileges to your offspring, but allow me to school you really quick.

NO THE FUCK IT DOESN’T.

Just because you pick your kid up on a Saturday (late, most of the time) and fill their bellies with junk food and their heads with shitastic ideas and idiotic ramblings, doesn’t mean you understand what it is a full time parent goes through.

You provide 2 hots and a cot.

You aren’t father of the year material.

You are a motherfucking babysitter.

I can hire someone from Craigslist who could do the job a million times better with a thousand less headaches, but because Judge Equal Fucking RIghts says it’s a good idea for you to spend quality time with your kids…here the fuck we are.

Because let’s be honest…if that judge wasn’t involved….would we even be seeing you at all?

I know there are fathers who step up. I know there are dads who do the right thing…I’m not talking about those parental units right now. So…jump down my throat about something else.

I am talking about the 36 hour jerkoffs. The shit talking, always got something to say ne’er do a goddamn thing right, half wits who think two teaspoons of jizz make them a super parent.

Unless you clean puke at 3 am, unless you iron pants and make lunches and bake cookies and volunteer for trips to the bottlecap museum, unless you go to doctor’s appointments and wipe asses and blow noses and cook 3 squares a day, even when you don’t have the energy to pick up a fork and feed yourself…

Don’t you dare compare what YOU do, to what an ACTUAL parent does.

Period.