Sarkastickunt

Hi!! Welcome to the neighborhood, so glad you chose my building in which to live.

I wish you nothing but luck in your new apartment and blah blah blah.

So…now that we got the generic greetings and bullshit pleasantries out of the way can you NOT fucking smoke in this building?

I understand it’s your right. I get it. I’m a reformed toker who partook in the awesome plant for nearly 20 years. High fives..good times. Cheech and Chong and YAY HEMP…and all that shit.

But, here’s the thing. This building is a SMOKE FREE building.

I know I know…you think that kinda sorta applies just to the Newport’s you have tucked in your baggy sweat pants when you take your adorable Pomeranian for a walk.

Alas…it also includes MARY JANE.

And not to to get technical or all NARC-y on you but…marijuana is ILLEGAL.

Hard to believe, I know. They should just legalize it already. However, sadly…for you and now for me..they haven’t.

And please don’t say YOUR APARTMENT, YOUR RIGHTS, because sure…I could agree with that but when what goes on inside YOUR apartment spills (literally) into the hallway surrounding mine causing my 5 year old to inquire about scents and substances I was not, and SHOULD NOT have to explain to her just yet…then I cease to give a fuck about your rights.

I normally am a very nice person. The perfect neighbor to have because I don’t like to socialize, I won’t give you a hard time, I mostly don’t give a flying pig’s ass in space about what you do.

But if you’re going to to continue to spark up in your living room while watching Being Human and stinking up my landing, then I just might have to accidentally call the precinct.

Okay?

okay.