January 2011
2 tags
I set my alarm for 11:15pm so that I can pop the...
Having kids kills your social life…and your soul.
Happy New Year Bitches!!!
Have a drink (or twenty) for me!!!
Crab fucking Rangoon
Dammit Toni.
Thanks a lot.
December 2010
I'm in the grocery store throwing junk food into...
Never go shopping hungry.
Never take a hungry Christopher with you.
Never let the Internet influence your purchases. ( thanks a lot Cherilyn)
Never start a diet when pizza rolls go on sale.
Pirate
17 yr old: what are you watching?
Me: I’m watching this show about some woman who wants a pirate themed dream wedding.
17 yr old: Pirate? Like ho ho hum and a bottle of rum? Or pirated like stealing music and movies??
Me: Really??
1 tag
NYE 2009
I was not happy. I was not secure. I was in the wind. I was confused.
I was living in my parents house. Holed up in the back room of a 5 bedroom house, only coming out to shower, and cook dinner for everyone.
I was depressed.
My kids were falling apart.
I wasn’t respected in my personal relationships.
I was essentially friendless.
I was feeling like nothing I did mattered.
It was...
roothakers asked: Having followed you for awhile on here and Twitter, and seeing all your food posts, and knowing you are TINY, I have to ask. Do you just have good genes, or are you elaborating the amount of food you eat, or are you harboring secret weight loss tips in your awesome rack?
As someone who tries to eat healthy and has the backside of a manatee, my interest is piqued.
As someone who tries to eat healthy and has the backside of a manatee, my interest is piqued.
1 tag
Dancing
I want to forget who I am just for a little while.
I want to paint my face a shade of excitement I haven’t felt in years.
I want to be surrounded by the ones who get me the most.
I want to go out.
I want to feel pretty.
I want to get drunk on giggles and take pics I am embarrassed about the next day.
I want to dance myself out of my shoes.
I want to go out.
I want to shrug off the...
1 tag
Dancing
I want to forget who I am just for a little while.
I want to paint my face a shade of excitement I haven’t felt in years.
I want to be surrounded by the ones who get me the most.
I want to go out.
I want to feel pretty.
I want to get drunk on giggles and take pics I am embarrassed about the next day.
I want to dance myself out of my shoes.
I want to go out.
I want to shrug off the...
roothakers asked: Having followed you for awhile on here and Twitter, and seeing all your food posts, and knowing you are TINY, I have to ask. Do you just have good genes, or are you elaborating the amount of food you eat, or are you harboring secret weight loss tips in your awesome rack?
As someone who tries to eat healthy and has the backside of a manatee, my interest is piqued.
As someone who tries to eat healthy and has the backside of a manatee, my interest is piqued.
2 tags
Tonight I am making Italian donuts
I haven’t had them in years, and any time I have ever had them my Nona made them for me. Since I no longer speak to her, I couldn’t even call her to ask for the recipe. I hope the one I got online was close.
They are similar in texture to funnel cake but made with a heavier dough (in a good way), made with ricotta, and deep fried in oil then sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar.
They...
This is Me, singing to Matilda the lullaby...
celinedionsbff-deactivated20120 asked: Song that puts you in the mood?
Because of your super-low sex drive and obvious need for music to put you in the mood!
Because of your super-low sex drive and obvious need for music to put you in the mood!
I don't look like a celebrity. I look like me. And...
tiffanyjmoore asked: Best and worst thing about being a parent?
swayinganyway asked: Actually, did you do anything? I've asked a few of my GFs and they all think its the last thing I should worry about but...I like my junk and I want to represent.
Did you groom the 'NoNo'?
Personally or professionally?
Did you groom the 'NoNo'?
Personally or professionally?
tiffanyjmoore asked: Best and worst thing about being a parent?
swayinganyway asked: Actually, did you do anything? I've asked a few of my GFs and they all think its the last thing I should worry about but...I like my junk and I want to represent.
Did you groom the 'NoNo'?
Personally or professionally?
Did you groom the 'NoNo'?
Personally or professionally?
lafix asked: My mom used to sing a highly inappropriate lullaby about a cannibal king when I was little. Does Matti get a particular lullaby from you?
lafix asked: My mom used to sing a highly inappropriate lullaby about a cannibal king when I was little. Does Matti get a particular lullaby from you?
bluecrab asked: Are you making any new years resolutions?
celinedionsbff-deactivated20120 asked: Song that puts you in the mood?
Because of your super-low sex drive and obvious need for music to put you in the mood!
Because of your super-low sex drive and obvious need for music to put you in the mood!
bluecrab asked: Are you making any new years resolutions?
I am feeling cheeky
Ask me some questions…but make sure you answer mine.
I am slipping nonsense in all yo boxes.
2 tags
NEW YEAR'S EVE
Every year since I was born, my parent’s dumped us at our grandparent’s house for New Year’s Eve.
That meant spending the holiday with a house filled with all my Nona’s “besties”.
It meant Dick Clark’s Rockin’ Eve.
It meant spinach dip in a bread bowl.
It meant pigs in a blanket.
It meant pizza rolls.
It meant homemade sausage bread.
It meant...
2 tags
Bathroom Pet Peeves
1) Not drying off completely before getting out of the shower, causing my bathroom rug to get wet and musty.
2) Not cleaning your big balls of spit up toothpaste from the sink after you brush your choppers.
3) Stubble. Anywhere.
4) Not replacing the toilet paper but instead resting it on the damp sink causing the bottom lip of it to get soaking wet and impossible to use.
5) Not closing the...
3 tags
I used to talk like a grown up. I used to have...
1 tag
Can't shake it
Something is wrong.
I’m not sure how much is anxiety and blown out of proportion and how much is real and actually happening.
It started after the baby. A tingling numb feeling in my right thumb. I thought it was weird but I learned to ignore it.
Then it was a small patch of numbness on my chin. Or at least I describe it as numbness, because that’s how it feels. Although if I...
DO YOU SEE THIS PILLOW?
DO YOU SEE THIS MOTHERFUCKING PILLOW???
Christopher won’t buy it for me. (mostly because there is no freakin’ room in our bed anymore). I already have a HUGE body pillow that sucks all the available space from the bed, BUT I SWEAR I will throw that piece of crap away to have this thing of beauty on my mattress.
BUT I WANT IT ANYWAY.
Yes, I am screaming.
IT IS THAT AWESOME.
...
1 tag
If I turn on Anonymous Messages will you promise...
Will you talk to me like shit and insult my intelligence?
Will you tell me how you “really feel”, under the cowardice cloak of anonymity and try your hardest to make me feel worthless?
Will you try to break my spirit and then go back to hiding and lurking and pretend “liking” my shit and make me second guess the relationships I have developed here until I no longer trust...
Another Truthful Tuesday
I don’t get some of you people.
I mean, I like you. Or at least I think I do. Or maybe I think I can LEARN to like you. It’s just some of you are fucking weird. Like the kind of weird you encounter on a near empty street at night where you put your head down, turn your rings facing your palm and try not to make eye contact.
**I don’t know what that means, but I just felt like...
Truthful Tuesday
I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around the notion that it’s already Tuesday.
Where the fuck did the week go?
2 tags
I've gone soft in my old age
I never really planned on breast feeding for longer than six weeks.
Come to think of it, I never REALLY planned on it at all.
I mean come on. Let’s face it. I am far too selfish to commit to anything that intense.
I like my freedom.
I’m a loner, Dotty. A rebel.
Until now.
Matilda is ten weeks old. I’m still nursing.
I made provisions to quit. I bought formula. I...
1 tag
1 tag
Things I've accidentally done while exhausted
Put bacitracin on my toothbrush.
Poured coffee into a sippy cup instead of juice.
Conditioned my hair twice instead of washing it.
Put my contact lenses into the same well.
Went out of the house with my pants on backward.
Been tricked into having sex with Christopher.
Put salt in my farina.
Spent time with my kids.
Used baby soap on my skin thinking it was lotion.
Broke my coffee...
2 tags
I think the worst of the storm is over
But to someone like me without a car to dig out or drive around in dangerous conditions, it’s not such a big deal.
I have plenty of food in the house, although I did send Christopher out for milk yesterday, but to be honest I send him out for that every day on account of my kids drinking nearly two gallons every 24 hours.
Christopher got the call last night that he doesn’t have to...
Edelweiss Bitches!!!
The Sound Of Music gives me girl wood.
1 tag
1 tag
Pet Peeves
1) Women that crack their gum.
2) People who use speaker phone on their cell.
3) Guys who spit on the street.
4) When the women who do my nails talk to each other in another language.
5) Parents out in the cold who are wearing hats and gloves but their kids aren’t.
6) People who stand in front of the counter at McDonalds and look at it like it’s the first time they’ve...
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
Ten in 10
1) I may not be the best mother there is, but I’m the best mom I’ve ever been, and everyday I get better.
2) The secret to living with a person who snores is to always go to bed before they do. And to punch them in their sleep as often as possible.
3) Yoga pants are the best fucking things ever and no matter how many pieces of cake I have, they always forgive me.
4) C-Sections...
1 tag
Ever have one of those moments where you wake up...
So much so, you may never sleep again?
That’s happening to me right now, as I kiss the baby’s head and try not to cry or go out of my mind.
Sigh…anyway.
It WAS just a dream. I’m okay. The baby is okay. And now hopefully I will get some sleep.
Thankful
I’m thankful for my children.
I’m thankful for my home.
I’m thankful for my health.
I’m thankful I found a love I could be proud of.
And finally, I’m thankful for you. For this. For Tumblr. For this little bit of perfection we’ve created that I wish everyone who ever used the Internet could experience. It’s amazing. It’s inspiring. It’s...