January 2012
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Remember that time I thought I had a venue and...
Yeah. Well up until twenty minutes ago, I totally didn’t.
I do now.
It’s better than the first one.
I’m sorry for taking you on a seesaw ride of emotion.
But this time it’s a done deal. Contract signed. Credit card given.
BLACKSTONE’S IS A GO!!!!!
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It's that time again...
TWEETUP SCHOLARSHIP!!!!
We raised $700.00 for Snark.
Let’s see how much we can raise for CHSH.
****As I stated last go ‘round, the main objective is to raise funds and give them to first time tweetup attendees…but anyone is welcome to receiving it. ****
One minute I am sitting on the couch watching television, lost in the mundane and mulling over what to make for dinner and suddenly I am reminded of my mortality and wrapped in thoughts of sickness and death and I become scared and pensive and start thinking about how I’m going to die and will it be long and drawn out or will it be quick and what will it feel like and when will it happen and...
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Let me use US as an example
I love Cherilyn.
She is my super, duper awesome other half friend.
We get each other. We are very much alike.
However? We are very, very different as well.
We also have different friends.
She likes people that I think are assholes.
And I like people people that she can’t stand to be around.
That doesn’t mean because she doesn’t think (redacted) is as big of a cunt as I do...
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I used to think I had friends before but I basically had people I would use so I wouldn’t feel so lonely.
I would call people or hang around people who didn’t compliment me as a person or draw out any of my best qualities but merely filled a void I had that made me feel empty.
I would go to parties and talk on the phone and invite people over but I never really felt like I had...
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Snark Has a Pre-Party Venue
So, if you are in NYC on Friday February 17, 2012 at 8pm come drink with the internet and the rest of the SNARKERS at Snafu on East 47th street in NYC.
Message me for details. Or just to message me to tell me how awesome I am…either one.
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I started this 10% in 4 at 190.
I lost a few then gained a few.
Then I stayed strong at 185.
Until I started going to the gym.
There must be something said for cardio and stuff because I am officially out of the 180’s.
I am now 176.
So…yeah.
That’s 14 pounds, in case you suck at math.
I still have a front bump…but baby steps.
As long as I take them on a treadmill...
I know what kind of girl I am.
The kind you can have a few drinks with…no strings attached.
The kind you can laugh and joke around with, when you’ve had a shitty day.
The kind that’s good enough for you when you have no place better to go.
The kind that answer’s your texts. Even in the middle of the night.
The kind you turn to when you need advice, even though you...
An open letter to my new upstairs neighbors
Hi!! Welcome to the neighborhood, so glad you chose my building in which to live.
I wish you nothing but luck in your new apartment and blah blah blah.
So…now that we got the generic greetings and bullshit pleasantries out of the way can you NOT fucking smoke in this building?
I understand it’s your right. I get it. I’m a reformed toker who partook in the awesome plant for...
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Claire came up with a Halloween Tweetup
And now it’s all I can think about!!!!
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I'm not really very political
Or politic savvy.
I don’t watch the debates. I don’t know the difference between primaries or caucuses.
I don’t watch CNN or ABC NEWS or even pretend to know what Jon Stewart or Bill Mahr are friggin’ talking about.
And to be honest…I don’t really care.
However…I DO VOTE.
I vote for who ever is going to respect and stand behind and fight for the...
Troothies and what not
I got up and went to the gym firs thing this morning and made it my mother fucking bitch.
I am still having issues with my venue and I cannot shake the ball in my gut telling me to haul ass and go look somewhere else.
We get our tax money just in time for Snark so that I can drink all my deductions away.
I need a pedicure so bad my feet are no longer speaking to me.
Why does 2 hours of...
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They used to call me The Referee.
I used to be a Limelight club kid and my fashion of choice was always this black and white striped shirt with short booty shorts and fishnets with red doc martens.
I also wore this sparkly red and black whistle around my neck that I used to blow the fuck out of on the dance floor when I was shaking my ass to some crazy loud techno music.
I had long hair, to...
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I was thinking about San Francisco because I have always wanted to just be there.
Drunken nerds walking Lombard street.
All of us getting drunk and riding the ferry to Alcatraz in our hoodies and chucks.
Drunken cable car rides.
Drunken site seeing.
Basically, I want to get drunk with you guys in another time zone.
So…yeah.
I’m leaning towards San Francisco. But I...
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If SNARK went to the West Coast...would you guys...
Because I totally want to have one there.
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I feel like gossiping.
Wanna talk shit with me?
About me?
To me?
KIK ME…sarkastickunt
or find me on the gmails.
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mis-undrstood replied to your post: Reason number 1,000,000,000,00 that having a tracker on your blog gives people a false sense of superiority and makes them think they are far more important than they actually are.
I agree to an extent. But my house is on a public street. If someone parks in front of it to watch me day after day, I’m calling the cops. Ya know? :)
Sitting outside your house?...
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Reason number 1,000,000,000,00 that having a...
Please don’t tell people I am stalking your blog when it is PUBLIC, in a PUBLIC forum, get’s reblogged in a PUBLIC timeline and is written with the intent of getting read by the PUBLIC.
If you want your thoughts private, write them in a notebook and slip that under your mattress.
Until then..FUCK YOU for implying, insinuating, hinting or even JOKINGLY MENTIONING that I am stalking...
This is my third time planning SNARK and the...
Even if I really want them to come to mine.
Even if I know they can’t afford to go to both.
Even if I was feeling like a dick that day.
I just let people do what people want to do.
No shit talking involved.
Go to the tweetup where your friends are.
And let your friends go where they want to go.
It’s just dick baggery to talk shit on someone else’s party because you...
3 tags
I am weening the baby.
Again.
I know I said I was doing it a few months ago, but I folded because she looked so sad and so depressed and so cute looking up at me and pleading me with her adorable eyes.
So I caved.
Now, I can’t back down. Even though I want to. Even though I am already having second thoughts. Even though the sound of her following me around the house whispering,...
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I'm going to the gym
I know, right?!????
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SNARK PLAYLIST
handlebars:flobots
empire state of mind: jay z
i know you want me: pitbull
jai ho:pussycat dolls
if you seek amy: britany spears
thats not my name:the ting tings
untouched:the veronicas
always on time: ashanti
lick my neck, my back:khia
tubthumping: chumba wumba
still a playa: big pun
nobody’s supposed to be here: deborah cox
freak like me:adina howard
thong song: sisqo
case...
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aceofkase replied to your post: SNARK is BACK at The OVERLOOK
How do I know who is going? I would like to go, but don’t know if I would know a lot of people there!
Here is the RSVP…Check it out, make your decision and we hope to see you there.
I cook everything on high heat.
Everything.
Fish, chicken, pork, veggies…even freakin’ oatmeal.
Super high heat…intense, intense, intense.
Until either the bread crumbs turn from beige to black or the oil starts smoking and sets off my smoke alarm.
Not sure why I do it.
I always curse myself when I overcook something and swear I will learn from my mistake and take my time...
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WatchThese are just some of the things that run through my brain when I am left unattended.
Also?? I make snot cool.
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I wake up some mornings with the taste in my mouth. I can smell it on my breath. It feels so intense, there’s no way it’s not real. I can hear my heart racing. I can feel my skin breathing. It’s IN me.
Until reality starts sobering me up.
Just a dream.
Not real.
So, I lay there for a long time, trying, grasping, reaching..holding on to that feeling with everything I have...
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Snark needs a cocktail
ATTENTION ALL MIXOLOGISTS:
My bar tending days are long over.
So, I am turning to you guys…
I need a drink that will appeal to EVERYONE and fit the vibe that the tweetup represents.
Something playful, snarky and a little crazy.
Any ideas???
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I wish I lived closer
Because if I was and if I did, I would get in my car and drive to Naples, Florida and pick up my best friend and we would then drive to Orlando so that we could go to the tweetup together and have all the beers. ALL OF THEM.
And then we would wear our animal hats and pretend it was colder than it really was and we would sit in a corner and laugh and be awkward and talk really loud and smile a lot...
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When I get sick I get needy and I get lonely because it’s just me and the kids and no one is here to comfort me and take care of me because I’m the mommy…duh. I get overwhelmed and sad and a bit depressed because I wish I had someone, ANYONE, to pull me close and hug me and just tell me that even though my face is swollen and leaky I am still the most beautiful thing they have...
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Maybe I AM getting old...
Maybe the reason 20 something, whiny, can’t do anything for themselves unless you draw them a cartoon map or hold their fucking hand the whole time, females annoy the ever living piss out of me is because I’m getting fucking too old for this shit?
Maybe I’m getting crotchety and cranky because I am quite a few years older, therefore closer and closer to death?
Maybe I am...
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in case you wondered why Cherilyn and I are...
[10:20] sarkastickunt@gmail.com: i dyed my hair and instead of it being dark brown its jet black and now I look like shelly duvall from the shining [10:22] cherilyn thereall: omg hahahaha! [10:22] cherilyn thereall: i doubt that. [10:22] sarkastickunt@gmail.com: no seriously…all i need is over alls and a quivering bottom lip [10:22] cherilyn thereall: and some jacked up teeth and some bugged...
I am sitting here with a head full of hair dye and I am wondering how my life got this WHACK, yo.
I woke up, walked my kids to school, ate shredded wheat, took a Pepcid and decided my roots needed to be touched up. Later I will tweeze my eyebrows, wax my upper lip and tonight before bed I will run a razor over the rest of my hairy spots. I will make lunch in a half sleep fog and cook dinner but...
derekhuff asked: LENGTH OR GIRTH
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What you gonna do when you get outta jail?
I’m gonna do a remix.
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When I first meet someone I want to love them and make them mine. I want to make them My best friend, my husband, my love, my mentor. I have all this faith in them that they have no idea even exists. I just want to be loved so badly that I jump right past introductions and straight into commitment and forming this eternal connection.
I want them to see me, the me I hide from everyone. The me I am...
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Pop Tarts
I love frosted cherry. However, lately I am hooked on Brown Sugar Cinnamon fresh after 45 seconds in the microwave.
What’s your flavor?
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oh my God
I was raised catholic for most of my life.
I attended catholic school, received all the necessary sacrements and went to church with my family every single week.
When I was about 18 I realized that the way I was choosing to live was not only frowned upon by my religion but in most cases, shunned completely.
I felt orphaned. I felt like I had nothing. No faith in myself, no faith in my God.
...
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The ghost that is in my basement isn’t the same one that is in my apartment.
My laundry room is downstairs so every time I’m down there I get the creepy goose bumps because it feels like someone is watching me. It makes me scared, I guess. Edgy. Uncomfortable.
The ghost upstairs is playful. Silly. Friendly. And lately? Protective.
Last week I was asleep and I felt someone nudge...
If loving this bag of cool ranch dorito's is wrong...
Also?
Diet cherry Coke.
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I don’t know what it says about me that years ago I used to get aroused watching girl on girl porn and now I hump my couch watching Cupcake Wars.
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Two Domino's pies have over 7,000 calories.
No, seriously…you heard me.
7,000!!!!
I ordered it tonight for dinner because I was beat and too tired to cook…but FUCK THAT if I’m going to put into my face all the calories I essentially purged from my system this week just because I lack the motivation to fire up my stove.
I will let the kids eat it…I’m making something else.
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I like pizza. I like pizza with weird shit on it. Penne ala vodka, caesar salad, buffalo chicken. I like the crust to be crispy but greasy. I hate when it’s burnt, even a little. I always pluck any air bubbles from the dough with my fingers. I don’t like it to be smothered in sauce. I don’t like garlic salt or pepper flakes. I eat the bottom part first and make my way to the...
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I just left the doctor’s office.
I lost 6 pounds.
My blood pressure was 130/90.
He still thinks I should take hypertension meds…I am fighting him on this. My pressure used to be 160/110, so I think I am making improvements with diet. I guess I am not a doctor, so I am still on the fence.
14 out of 18 trigger points sent me almost off the table and down the hall.
He is sending me...
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Snark is in 5 weeks.
Don’t think that because I am opinionated and not every one’s favorite person that you cannot or should not come to NYC to attend the tweetup.
I am many things, but a heartless asshole is NOT one of them.
If you want to come, come.
There will be plenty of people attending that I don’t like, but you and them would never know it because I am a grownup and...
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My addiction to communicating started way before there was a world wide web.
When I was about 15, my uncle bought me a CB radio.
My “handle” was LonelyHeart…but for some reason no one could completely understand me and they thought I said GOLDILOCKS. So…the name just stuck.
Eventually I upgraded to a whip antenna that I ghetto rigged to a platform outside my bedroom...