Sarkastickunt

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I have been taking Extra Strength Tylenol for what seems like forever.

I have normal to slightly above average blood pressure and was told Advil was something I should avoid.

I don’t think Tylenol is working for my headaches.

Is taking Advil okay? Are there any over the counter migraine meds (this way I am prepared for the next one) that I should consider??

I called the doctor who did my retina exam in the Emergency Room and asked him if he saw anything I should be worried about during my exam and this was his answer…

"Miss (redacted), you are fine. Your tests were completely normal. YOU are a completely normal near sighted girl."

And with that…I feel better.

Doctor says it reads like text book migraine with aura.

He wants to rule out anything vascular so I’m having an mri on the 24 th. Although he thinks if it was a vascular issue I would have had it all my life.

He prescribed relpax, which he said may or may not treat the existing headache. He wasn’t optimistic because it needs to be given as the symptoms start and I’m 7 days in. Also? A med that causes angina and arrhythmia? I’d rather have a headache.

I’m not sure what I’m feeling. I just want to feel better. And have a diagnosis.

I keep panicking thinking another migraine will happen, so essentially I’m hiding in my room feeling like crying.

I should feel better. He didn’t seem worried. So why am I??

Major panic attack in waiting room resulted in blood pressure being 150/93.

I need a hug.

I’m at the neurologist and trying to keep my cool.

Tell me a funny story. Distract me. Or something.

Thanks.

I’m pretty sure I have some crazy anxiety disorder so severe it’s what is causing my brain to hurt.

I go to see the neurologist tomorrow as well as the eye doctor to see of maybe my prescription is what is fucking with my head.

I only feel okay when I’m home. Going out is causing me to flip out and get nervous and anxious and my mother had agoraphobia and that shit was no fucking joke. SHe gained 120 pounds and just chain smoked her life away.

I woke up with a headache and after tylenol and a fuck ton of water, it seemed to go away until my sciatica flared and then my arm felt weird and numb and sore and then my left temple started throbbing..

I swear..I hate myself right now.

Hopefully the doctor won’t find some insane brain disease tomorrow an I will finally convince the rest of my mind to just FUCKING RELAX.

I web md’d some crazy blood vessel disorder and now I’m convinced I’m just one big rush of blood away from taking a dirt nap.

Sigh…fucking stupid.

Sometimes I make sweeping generalizations because I’m angry or upset or frustrated.

It’s not a defect, but more like a flaw.

I know I shouldn’t. I often feel crappy when I do.

And I know there are better ways to get my point across than to lump everything into one shitty category just because I am feeling shitty about things.

And even though I know this…I do it anyway.

Also? Since this is my personal space to dump thoughts and work through angst, I should be able to do so without being attacked.

Everyone has this right.

Even if we don’t like them.

Even if we think they shouldn’t.

Life is like that sometimes.

And considering we have ALL posted some fucked up shit here that may or may not be perceived as dick baggerish…I just don’t think it’s fair or attractive to point fingers or attack someone just because they opted to use their space to say something that bothered YOU.

That’s kind of elitist. And cuntish.

Like…whoa.

How do you tell someone you never want to see them again and then go out of your way to talk to them when you see them on the street? ?

People are fucking weird.

I think my face pain and eye pain is allergies or just eye strain.

Not sure what caused the ocular migraines although both times I had them I was in direct sunlight AND had an empty stomach. SOOOO it could be any of those things or none of them.

I might never know.

I had the doctor all up IN my eyeball and somewhere I’m thinking he missed something and it’s lethal and I’m just going to die in my kitchen while I’m cooking dinner because of course thats what normal people think about.

Today was a better day.

Eye pain was minimal until about 5 pm. Then a slight headache started, but nothing strong enough to require tylenol..just annoying at times.

I’m trying to focus on more important things…like my daughter’s birthday Wednesday. And buying the kids little baskets for Easter. I really am.

Everything that’s happening I am convinced is anxiety related and I just need to stop worrying about everything and just coast into my vacation and enjoy the life I have in front of me.

I NEED to…because this life I’m living is no life at all and I’m better than this.

I am.

"I AM going to die someday…but today is NOT that day."

This is my new mantra because seriously, I need to convince my brain that everything is going to be okay and sometimes baby steps are needed.